Today, I started taking Clomid. It feels like a long time coming, considering that my husband and I have been seeing a fertility specialist since November 2010, and have been seeing our current doctor for just under a year. But, here we are. I feel a little hesitant to write an entry today, because I didn’t want to give people false hope. I guess, the truth is, I really don’t want to give myself false hope. Clomid has a 35% success rate. This is actually the same percentage a fertile-aged couple with no signs of infertility has of getting pregnant each time they are sexual active during ovulation. It seems so low to me, but those are the odds. Since my hormones are balanced (or at least they were at my last appointment), we now have the same chance as any other couple with the help of Clomid. That’s pretty amazing to me. But, 35%? How does anyone get pregnant with those odds? I feel like we just climbed the first peak of Everest, only to look up, and realize there are many, many more miles to go. I believe this will work for us (I believe, help my unbelief.- Mark 9:24), but how many tries will it take? What is the right dosage for my body? These things are so subjective, and not even my doctor can answer for sure. Fertility medicine is all trial and error. And, that is scary as hell to me. My body is exhausted from just the past three weeks of preparing to take the Clomid.
On January 13th, I started Provera. Provera is a drug that induces a period. Gynecologists believe that it is unhealthy for the female body to go longer than three months without a period (except obviously during pregnancy), so they frequently put irregular woman on birth control to produce a period each month. If you are trying to get pregnant, then birth control is obviously a poor choice, so the other option is Provera. I HATE Provera. The drug makes me feel awful! I have premenstrual cramps for the whole 10 day cycle, plus the 10 days in between before my period starts. And, I am so nauseous that I don’t really want to eat. This time, it actual made me vomit. I feel fatigued, weak, unmotivated, and irritable. It is really not a fun medication. Plus, when my period does come the cramps are so bad that I feel nauseous again. So basically, I have felt like absolute crap for a month.
In the past when I have taken Provera, my period is weak flowing, but painful. This time it was less painful and heavier. Maybe I am looking too much into this, but I think that was a good sign. When I have taken the medication before, I had low levels of estrogen, and the doc was trying just to clean me out, because a lining build up can be dangerous. But, I know from my previous ultrasounds that my lining doesn’t really build up on its own because the hormones that make that happen are too low to do their job. This period more closely resembled those I had on birth control when there was a higher level of estrogen present in my body. I am chalking this up to a small victory that the estrogen supplements are causing my body to produce a lining, but not ovulation. Enter the Clomid.
Clomid’s job is to stimulate the ovaries to create follicles and induce ovulation. It increases your chance of twins by 50%, but is not really known to produce higher sets of multiples (though it has happened). The beginning dose is 50mg once daily for five days. The dose is increased if it is unsuccessful the first time. Dr. Smith started me on 100mg for five days. Essentially, we skipped step one. Typically, if a patient takes 200mg and uses the “trigger shot” of hCG hormone with no successful ovulation then Clomid will not work for the woman. (Note- hCG “trigger shots” are given during the third step of trying Clomid.) Since there are so many trial and error steps even this medication can be a long process, depending on how persistent the doctor is with the medication. Since today was day one for me, I will go back to the doctor in two weeks. At that appointment, he will run lots of blood work to check for ovulation and/ or pregnancy, perform a physical exam to check for signs of a thickening cervix, and discuss what the results mean. We obviously won’t know the blood work results the same day, but usually the physical exam is enough to determine pregnancy. The blood work will confirm if the Clomid induced ovulation even if we are not pregnant.
I plan to use the home ovulation tests to better time sex, but we have been instructed to be intimate every other day from now until our appointment. And, I will say, I am happy that although we will be having sex on a schedule, neither of us feels negatively about it. We both know that a lot of couples sort of get bitter in these situations, usually because the female is looking only to get pregnant and it can deplete the intimacy of sex. I love my husband very much, and sex is a very active part of our marriage. I want to get pregnant, but I don’t want him any less.
Prayers flow <3
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