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Last week, my husband and I went to Ohio to spend time with my family. The trip was eventful, fun, and filled with lots of babies. Friends' babies, brothers' babies, twin babies, plane babies, lots of babies. Don't get me wrong, I love babies, but while I was awaiting the test results that would determine how well my body was responding to the birth control, every time I finished holding a baby I felt scared, sad, and conflicted. In many ways, I guess, I have thought these particular test results seemed so much bigger than any of the others we have had. To recap, the doctor put me back on birth control in hopes that it would raise my estrogen levels and lower my testosterone levels. When we went back to the doctor last week, he did some blood work to check the progress. He determined before the blood tests that he really wanted me to stay on the birth control for another month. Fast forward to two days ago... I hadn't heard from the Dr. Smith, which is really unusual considering we have literally driven 45 mins to his office to sit for five minutes while he asks, "So, how are you doing?" So, I made a phone call to his office. When, the nurse called me back, I received news that I actually think is worse than the "one more month on the pill": "Dr. Smith said your test results were satisfactory; you should continue treatment for the next three months; and follow-up after that." I was devastated! Three months! That is NOT what my husband and I had talked to him about.  Nearly every time we go to him, I cannot stop myself from asking when he thinks we'll be able to move forward with actual fertility treatments, not just balancing my hormones. Each and every time he says that he is not prepared to make that call yet. Not to mention, if the results were satisfactory, why were we not going to go off birth control and try to get pregnant again. So, I stood up for our fertility, and said that this was not acceptable, and that we did not want to wait another three months on birth control to restart trying to get pregnant. The nurse was sort of rude and sarcastic as she told me, "Well then, I'll just tell the doctor that you don't want to wait three months and see what he says." She didn't need to be like that. I get that she deals with anxious mothers-to-be daily, but this was about me, and my treatments. When she called me back, she said that Dr. Smith wants to see us next Wednesday, and that we should discontinue taking the birth control until we develop our "pregnancy plan". PREGNANCY PLAN!!! We finally are getting to the big meeting with the doctor. The one that will determine how we will move forward, and what we will do (besides the obvious) to get pregnant. Now, I feel nervous, excited, and scared. I know that it could be this month, next month, next year, several years until we actually get pregnant, but I guess I feel the same as any first-time potential mother. With the added pressure that comes with already knowing there are problems with the plumbing, and there is a potential for sex to become more about the mechanics and less about the love-making. It's obviously too early to be concerned that my husband and I will get to that super frustrated place that many couples with fertility problems get. But, I'm a worrier. Mostly, right now, we need some prayer. Prayer that this pregnancy plan works, isn't overly expensive, and that it doesn't put pressure on our marriage. I will fill you all in next week when I have more details about the pregnancy plan.